Which Dating App Has The Most Success
Dating apps are great in many ways, but they can also be confusing and time-consuming. As a professional matchmaker, I look at people’s profiles all day long and have learned a lot about how to get the most out of looking for love online. Here are some of my best tips.
Mystery is key.
When writing your bio, avoid rambling. The purpose of a bio is not to tell your life story, all of your interests, or your relationship history—it’s to pique curiosity. Long bios end up coming across as overeager and inauthentic. Plus, you want to maintain a hint of mystery to entice swipers to actually message you. Your bio should be short and sweet but give a suitor something they can mention when they first message you.
We began our analysis by looking at dating app market share (in terms of American iOS and Android users) of twenty of the most popular dating apps to see which has the most users. In 2020, Bumble surpassed 100 million users in 150 countries, leaving no doubt that it is one of the most popular independent dating apps out there. Bumble, aka the feminist dating app, has over 11 million monthly active users.
While you shouldn’t give TMI, you do need to give some.
While you don’t want to say something like, “Just broke up with my ex of 5 years, looking for someone to bring home for Passover next month. Crohn’s survivor!” you also don’t want to be bare-bones about it. I see women who have just a few nonsensical emojis in their profile. This makes it seem like you aren’t taking the dating app seriously and with no information on your profile, it’s pretty difficult for anyone to strike up a conversation.
Don’t state the obvious.
I can’t tell you how many profiles I’ve come across that say something to the effect of, “Love to travel, but also love Netflix!” Virtually everyone loves to travel and watch Netflix. Not only does this make for a boring bio but it will also get lost in the thousands of other people who say the exact same things. Instead, try something that tells more of a story like, “Looking for someone to watch the Dark Knight trilogy with.” You can also try something that adds a call to action like, “Who wants to help me eat all of this chocolate I brought back from Belgium?”
Be strategic.
Since you want to keep your bio pretty short, you can actually pack a lot of information into your profile in other ways. Adding your job and university gives people a good idea of your interests and where you’re from. An interesting job or educational background can also give swipers something to use to start a conversation. I went to school in Europe, so plenty of guys open the conversation by asking where exactly my school was, which easily leads to conversation about travel or what I studied.
Be authentic.
Probably 8 out of 10 women’s profiles are basically exactly the same basic stuff. It’s boring, gets lost in the crowd, and worse, it makes you seem inauthentic. It might be true that you have a dog and love to travel, but try to put a more unique spin on it. The best way to stand out is by being yourself. Your bio should be honest and have your own unique flavor while your pictures should show your genuine interests. Instead of yet another selfie, make sure at least one picture shows you doing one of your favorite activities. This will help you connect with people who share your interests and give them something to open the conversation with.
Ditch the vanity and choose normal photos.
Choosing Instagram model pics for your dating app profile may be sexy, but it’s not necessarily the best move. People tend to roll their eyes at blatant social media vanity even though we all partake. No one wants to date a narcissist. Plus, your high glam pictures don’t always make you look very approachable, which means you might get likes but few messages. Instead, choose pictures that make you look friendly and open. Rather than looking away from the camera or giving your best Blue Steel, you should be smiling or laughing. Make sure you’re showing your teeth and the whites of your eyes for the most impact.
Treat it like a job.
One of the biggest complaints I hear about dating apps is that people get burned out too quickly and then just want to give it up. A trick to avoid burnout is to limit the amount of time you spend swiping. Basically, you should treat dating apps like a job. Decide on an amount of time you’re willing to spend at it each day, then turn off notifications. Once you’ve put in your time, resist the urge to answer messages or swipe more when bored. If you’re at it all the time, you’re going to end up giving it up. Balance is key here.
Get clear on what you’re looking for.
When it comes to swiping, you should have some strategy. Most people treat dating apps like throwing spaghetti at a wall and going with whatever sticks. To have success on dating apps, you need to get clear on what you’re looking for and stick with it. If you’re looking for an active gentleman who wants a long-term relationship, swipe left on the hot homebody who’s “just here for fun.”
Look past presentation.
Not everyone is a content marketing genius, so you need to look past their online presentation to find the diamonds in the rough. Unflattering pictures and a cringe-worthy bio make most people swipe left, but try to look past their marketing skills to see what’s underneath. Pictures out of focus but fosters puppies in his free time? Hell yes. Gym selfie but has an MA in English lit from Yale? Worth a shot. An open mind is your pathway to love.
“Sponsored: The best dating/relationships advice on the web. Check out Relationship Hero a site where highly trained relationship coaches get you, get your situation, and help you accomplish what you want. They help you through complicated and difficult love situations like deciphering mixed signals, getting over a breakup, or anything else you’re worried about. You immediately connect with an awesome gecoach o”n text or over the phone in minutes. Just click here…
Read more:
If you've ever used a dating app, you probably know the best ones for hookups, the best ones for scoring a date ASAP, and the best ones for finding a pen pal you never actually meet. But which dating apps are best for relationships? If you tell someone you met your long-term partner through a dating app, they may act like you've beaten the system somehow. In a way, this makes sense: with the sheer number of people you interact with on a dating app, even if you end up with a long-term relationship, it seems like it's a tiny proportion of the all the interactions you have on there. And a lot of people swipe for hours, go on lots of dates, and then— for whatever reason – nothing ever really gets off the ground, which is totally fine if you're not looking for anything serious.
Which Dating App Has The Most Success
But what if you want more? Are some apps more like to lead to long-term relationship than others? A new survey by Consumers’ Research looked at how many people end up with relationships from dating apps, and which ones have the most. According to The Daily Dot, they looked at Tinder, Match, Grindr, eHarmony, and OkCupid to assess the behaviors of online daters after a new Pew study showed that online dating has increased in all age groups since 2013. They also looked at harassment rates (57 percent of women versus 21 percent of men have experienced it), shorter relationships, and got a general idea of who's using apps.
So what's your best bet if you're looking for a long-term relationship? Here are the success rates:
1. Match
Match was the most successful for long-term relationships, by quite a jump. Thirty-eight percent of users had had a relationship lasting longer than a month and, even more impressive, 33 percent reported having relationships lasting longer than six months, The Daily Dot reports. One out of three have a relationship lastings longer than six months? That's definitely the best odds I've heard.
2. OkCupid
Which Dating App Is The Most Successful
Thirty-two percent of users had made it past the month mark with OkCupid. They also echoed recent research from OkCupid saying that, for women, 'those who sent more messages (either initially or in reply to messages received) ended up in relationships more often than those who did not engage in communication.' So get messaging.
3. eHarmony
Interesting, as The Daily Dot points out, eHarmony came in third, despite putting themselves forward as the best for long-term relationships. Twenty-nine percent of users had a relationship of one month or more, which is still pretty good. If you think that most people on there are probably not looking very hard, it says to me that if you're trying for it then it can happen.
4. Tinder
Old faithful, Tinder, made the list at number four. Only 13 percent said they had made it past the first four weeks... which surprised me. I know that there's a definitely a hookup culture surrounding Tinder, but I would have thought the number was higher — considering we're only talking about people who have made it at least a month with even one person off of Tinder. That's not to say it doesn't happen (I've been with my girlfriend seven months, one of of my other friends is getting married to a guy from Tinder this year), but there does seem to be evidence that— if a long-term relationship is what you're looking for — some places are better bets than others.
Want more of Bustle's Sex and Relationships coverage? Check out our new podcast, I Want It That Way, which delves into the difficult and downright dirty parts of a relationship, and find more on our Soundcloud page.
Images: Fotolia/Bustle; Giphy (4)